Robot Pony
by elamentalwarrior
Summary: What if instead of Robot Chicken. It was called Robot Pony? Parodies and Crossovers of the Ponies of Friendship is Magic along with other friends and characters. (This will also welcome parody ideas as well. Please send me a review of it)
1. Episode 1

**Robot Pony**

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><p>A dead pony laid on the side of the road after being ran over by an ACME diesel truck.<p>

A gloved hand grabbed the small pony by the neck, and it showed the Mad Scientist holding up and laughing medicinally.

He laid the pony's carcass on a lab table amputating several unnecessary limbs. Replacing them with metal machinery, and using several tools. Such as small drills, buzz-saws, and even an inflation hose.

The now Cyborg Pony sat up with a bionic eye, a metal neck, the right robotic front hoof, a chest plate showing the heart, a left robotic back leg, and even a robotic tail.

It looked around the room before looking at the 4th wall.

"IT'S ALIVE!" The announcer yelled as it showed the logo title. _**ROBOT** **PONY**._

The Mad Scientist then grabbed the pony and thew him in a chair, with it's front hoofs strapped onto the arms of the chair. Two metal claws then went to the pony's eyes and forced them open, having no choice but to look now.

The Scientist admired his work and he grabbed a remote, before pressing a button and a wall of TVs all turned on at once, showing many episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

In the middle of the one TV flickers to a black screen and the 4th wall zoomed in on it.

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><p><em>Created by<em>

_Elamentalwarrior_

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Rainbow Dash was hovering in front of Sonic the Hedgehog looking at him, until she spoke. "Where's your dick?" She asked him and it made the blue hedgehog look at the 4th wall annoyingly.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Spike was cleaning the library of, until he walked past the case holding the Elements of Harmony. He looked back and forth, before he lifted up the glass case and took the orange element from it's necklace, and putting down the glass case.<p>

He popped the Honestly gem into his mouth and ate it like candy, before licking his lips. "Mmm not bad." He said before he went back to cleaning the library.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>A tomb in the ever-free forest opened and it showed Queen Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon coming out if it.<p>

"Finally after 10,000 years were free!" Queen Chrysalis yelled. "It's time to conqueror Equestria!"

"Princess Celestia! Were in big trouble!" Shining Armour yelled.

"Captain. It's time to assemble the Pony Rangers." Princess Celestia commanded.

"It's Morphen time!" The Main Six yelled as they held their belt buckles.

"Honesty!" Applejack yelled.

"Kindness!" Fluttershy yelled.

"Loyalty!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Generosity!" Rarity yelled.

"Laughter!" Pinkie Pie yelled.

"Magic!" Twilight Sparkle yelled.

With a flash of multicolored light the six ponies were now in skin tight outfits with helmets over them. Ready to fight the evil.

_Go Go Pony Rangers!_

_Go Go Pony Rangers!_

_Go Go Pony Rangers! Mighty Morphen Pony Rangers!_

"When this is done, I am going to personalty smack EW across his fucking face." Rainbow growled as she felt funny when she wore her outfit.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"I thought that canon stunt would get us our cutie marks for sure." Applebloom said.<p>

"Yeah, and I'm sorry you now have to go to your Uncle Caramel's funeral tomorrow." Scootaloo said.

"He did say that he could do it." Applebloom said.

"Did somepony say cutie marks?" A voice asked as the three fillies passed by a stall that had random stickers. "I couldn't help but over hear that you were talking about them." The ponies working the shop couldn't be seen but the only thing that was seen were the eyes that looked at the CMCs now.

"Yeah actually." Applebloom said with a smile. "We tried to use a canon, but we ended up killing a family member of mine."

"I'm sorry for your loss." The clerk told her with sympathy before it went away like nothing ever happened. "So would you ladies like to buy a cutie mark of your own?"

"Buy a cutie mark?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Of course." The clerk said as a curtain was pulled down showing all kind of cutie marks, that even the reader couldn't describe. "I've got all kinds of them, and they are just as real as the ones other ponies have."

"Wow!" They said as they looked at them.

"All you need to do is pick one, and place it on your flank and your good to go." The clerk said.

"That'll save us a lot of time then just doin stuff, and having other ponies getting killed." Applebloom said with a smile as she found a wooden apple cutie mark.

"Will be the talk of the school to." Sweetie Belle said as she found a music note cutie mark.

"And will be style itself." Scootaloo said as she found a flaming wheel cutie mark.

Once they left the Clerk was counting the bits they paid for them. "He, he, he, just like the other two who got the tiara and spoon."

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Rainbow Dash and Applejack were hoof wrestling until one of them raised something. "Wait... how are we doing this if we don't have anything to grip with?" Applejack asked until Rainbow thought about it to before they looked at the 4th wall.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Mom why do you like to play with Dad's joystick so much?" Button Mash asked his mom, only to revive a pair of wide eyes and a hard blush.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Dear Celestia. Please tell Bigmac to stop watching my sister taking a shower." Applebloom said, as she was laying next to her bed with her front hoofs together, and she had her eyes closed.<p>

"Dear Celestia. Please tell Bigmac to not stop watching me taking a shower." Applejack said as she was in her room, she was also laying next to her bed with her front hoofs together and had her eyes closed.

"Dear Celestia. Please tell Applejack to stop making me watch her taking a shower." Bigmac said as he was in his room, he laid next to his bed with his front hoofs together and had his eyes closed.

"Dear Celestia. Please have a handsome stallion watch me take a shower." Granny Smith said as she was in her room, and she was doing the same as her grand children.

"Amen." They all said at the same time.

"Dear Faust. Please tell these ponies that I'm not God." Celestia said as she prayed next to her bed.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Twilight was looking at the case holding the Elements and she was shocked from seeing the gems gone. "SPIKE!"<p>

The little dragon zoomed away leaving behind a dust cloud of himself.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Bad Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy said as she had Rainbow Dash over her legs and she was spanking her flank.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Nightmare Moon was at the doctor's office, and it showed an X-ray of her spine.<p>

"What have you been sleeping on?" Doctor Stable asked her.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>A small paint brush appeared, and it started painting a back ground of Ponyville, the ground, the houses, the sky, and even the accessories.<p>

Then it took some purple paint, and started painting a purple unicorn.

Twilight looked around, until it saw the 4th wall. "Oh hello there. My name is Twilight Sparkle and I'm-" The brush painted a volume control below her and it was turned down to where she couldn't be heard, after a few seconds of that other stuff she was the volume was returned to normal before it faded away.

She looked around the place and noticed something. "Could you paint my library please?" She asked.

The paint brush then started to paint a library, but it wasn't the one she wanted. A public Library was painted instead and it made Twilight laugh a bit.

"No not a public Library. My House library." She said.

The Public library was erased and house was painted, with another library placed on top of it.

"No I meant my tree house library." She said looking at the 4th wall with annoyance.

The house and library was erased, and the Golden Oaks Library was now painted in.

"Thank you." She said as she walked to her home.

But before she could get to the door, her horn was erased. She looked up over her head and gave the 4th wall an annoyed look.

"Very Funny, now give me back my horn." She said.

The paint brush did so, but it wasn't a unicorn horn. It was a trumpet horn on her forehead.

"That's a trumpet horn. I want a unicorn horn." She said.

It then painted a unicorn horn, but it wasn't Twilight's at all. It was a large white horn belonging to a real unicorn not from the show.

"I'm taking about my purple horn you erased." She said.

It then painted her own horn back on her head.

"Thank you." She said before she used her magic to open the door, and went inside her home. "Hey where's the inside of the place?"

The pain brush then painted a back ground for the inside of the library. But instead of the shelves with books, and the table with a wooden horse statue. It had a human like theme to it as well.

"This is for humans, I'm a pony." Twilight replied.

She was then erased, and then painted as a human girl wearing a purple school girl outfit.

"Look if this is some kind of joke I'm not laughing." She said. "Now make me a pony, with a pony library."

She got what she wanted. The back ground of the library was erased and placed with the very inside library she wanted. But as for the pony part. Another Pony Twilight was painted into the scene with the real Twilight.

"That's not what I meant." Human Twilight said.

"She wanted herself to be turned back into a pony." The duplicate Twilight said.

The Twilight that was remade as a human was erased, and she was repainted as a real pony from the human world.

"I meant as a pony from the show I'm in." The Real Twilight said.

She was erased again, and repainted as her normal pony self. But this time she had wings on her back.

"No... take those wings off me right now. Even I think the 'Me becoming an alicorn thing' is over done." She said.

The wings on her back were now erased, but then she notice that her cutie mark wasn't there.

"I had a cutie mark." She said.

The pain brush, painted her flank and gave her back her cutie mark.

"And the other Twilight has to go." She said.

"Hey hold on I-" The second Twilight was then erased.

"Now that that's out of the way. I'm going to read my books." She said, as she turned her flank to the 4th wall and it had writing that she didn't noticed.

'Teacher's Pet' Was written on her purple ass as she trotted away.

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><p>"Ain't I stinker?" Discord asked with a smile as he was holding a paint brush, and was sitting in a studio.<p>

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><p><strong>That's all folks! ... for now.<strong>


	2. Episode 2

_**Robot Pony Episode 2**_

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Twilight was reading a book on her bed and was enjoying it until Spike came in with a letter from the Princess. The unicorn read it, and groaned with an annoyed tone. "She can't even wipe her own ass without my help." She said before she went under her bed, and got out three rolls of toilet paper, before leaving.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Ryuk the Shinigami was in the Apple Orchard. He was eating apples one by one without stopping. Then Applejack then came and was seeing apples disappearing, seeing the winged death bringer eating the hard worked crops. "I gotta warn the family."<p>

_10 minutes later._

"But I'm serious!" A winged monster is eating the apples!" Applejack yelled as she was now in a straight jacket and was being dragged away to a hospital.

"He, he. Works every time." Ryuk said with a smile.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Queen Chrysalis was coming out of the restroom of her underground castle, and she used her wings to circulate the air. "That Love was not as good as I thought." She said before walking away.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>A long white powdery line was stretched across a eight foot long table. Pinkie Pie walked across the table with one hoof over her left nostril holding it closed, as her right nostril was snorting up the whole line with one inhale. "Ohhhhhhh. Fuck Yeah... that's the stuff." She said laying on the table.<p>

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><p><span>Change Channel<span>

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><p>Spike was in an office with the Koopa King himself. Bowser who was sitting behind his desk wearing a tie. "What are your qualifications?" Bowser asked the young dragon.<p>

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><p><span>Change Channel<span>

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><p>Fluttershy looked at herself in the mirror, she was now a naked human with peach colored skin.<p>

"I don't get it." Twilight said looking in her book. "It was supposed to make a human slave for you, not turn you into one."

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Why is their cheese everywhere?" Twilight asked as melted cheese was covering Ponyville like webs.<p>

"I asked for some cheese to go with my crackers, and Discord must have heard me wrong." Pinkie pie said.

"Guess will have to find him now." Twilight said with a sigh.

"No need to worry." Rainbow said as she hoved over her two friends. "I'll cut the cheese so we can get out of here." She said as she karate chopped the cheese, but then a loud and deflating sound was then heard.

'PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT!'

Twilight and Pinkie back away from Rainbow and holding their muzzles.

"Hey that wasn't me!" Rainbow yelled.

"Ye who smelt it delt it!" Pinkie said.

"But I didn't." Rainbow said.

"Look lets just find Discord." Twilight said. "And then get Rainbow Dash on a diet."

"But I didn't do it." Rainbow said as she followed them now.

"I really need to lay off the burritos." Spitfire said rubbing her stomach, as she flew over ponyville.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Of all the worst possible things, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!" She yelled, as she looked in the mirror.<p>

"Rarity what's wrong?" EW asked.

"I have... a pimple!" Rarity yelled, as she looked at the author, showing a tiny red dot on her right cheek.

"That doesn't look so bad." He said.

"Are you mad!? This fur of mine is to be flawless as can be." She said admiring her marshmallow fur.

"Yeah... and how is it that a zit can be seen over fur anyway?" He asked.

"That's not important right now." Rarity said. "I want it to go away." She cried.

"Rarity... why not use your magic?" He suggested.

"I'm not touching this grotesk boil with my own magic!" She retorted.

"Alright than I'll get rid of it for you." He said, as he walked up to the white unicorn, and kneeled down to her level. "All I have to do is pop it and in a while it will be like it was never there." He said as he placed the nails of his two thumbs in between the little zit.

"Oh please be careful darling... I don't want to make a mess." She said as she held still, with her eyes closed.

"Rarity. It's a little pimple. How bad could it be?" EW asked her as he gently squeezed it.

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><p>It showed the Carousel Boutique, before all the windows and doors burst opened with greenish white goop that sprayed out of the shop, and covering ponyville.<p>

It didn't stop there the gooey gunk, started covering the Everfree Forest, Sweet Apple Acres, and other places. Until it covered all of Equestria, and then half of the world.

Rarity and EW emerged from the boil goop, and Rarity fainted from seeing herself covered in the gunk.

"But... I didn't even pop the pimple yet." EW said, before Sweetie Belle popped out of the goop.

"Yeah... that was actually me." Sweetie Belle said showing a red spot on her nose.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Princess Celestia was taking a shower behind the curtains loving the feeling of warm water on her skin.<p>

Princess Luna, then came inside with a grin on her face. Her horn glowed and the handle to the toilet now had the same glow around it. with a turn of the porcelain thrones's lever the sound of the toilet flushing was heard.

Celestia was the screaming. "AHHHH COLD! LUNA!" She yelled as she jumped out of the shower and was now chasing her sister of the night.

"Suck my flank Tia!" Luna said to her sister as she ran away from her.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Hey pie." Pinkie said as she was talking to a pie on the table, in the dark with barely any light filling the room. "I know what you did. Whore, slut, bitch. You don't deserve to have sex with me instead I'm gonna eat the whore out of you." She said as she picked up the pie in her hoofs.<p>

"Pinkie?" Cupcake asked as the light was turned on and she came into the kitchen.

"Oh hi there Mrs Cake." Pinkie said as she put down the pie with a sheepish smile.

"Pinkie Pie it's after midnight." She told her. "You know that even you need sleep."

"R-Right." She said as she had a awkward look on her face, before she left the kitchen and trotted upstairs.

Cupcake made sure that she was gone before she turned the light's out, but she then went to the table and sat down looking at the pie. "Hey pie. I know what you did. Whore, slut, bitch. You don't deserve to have sex with me instead I'm gonna eat the whore out of you." Cupcake said before she picked up the pie.

"Honey bun?" Carrot Cake asked as the lights turned back on, and he now came into the room.

"Oh hello sweetie." Cupcake said. "I-I was just about to put this pie away." She said sheepishly.

"You know that you have to watch yourself after you sat on EW and almost crushed his spine." He told her.

"R-Right." She said.

"Here I'll put the pie up, while you go to bed." He said, as he took the pie off her hoofs.

"Right." She said with a sigh as she left the kitchen and went upstairs.

Carrot Cake watched his wife go upstairs before smiling evil at the pie. "Hello pie. I know what you did." He said with a smirk as he licked his lips. "Whore, slit, bitch. You don't deserve to be eaten just yet, cause I have some special whipped cream just for you." He said with an svil smile before the lights went out once again.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"That's <em>piano<em>. I said _Piane_!" Cherries Jubilee told EW as she tapped the human's head with her paper fan. "And why did you have to make me wear such a little thong!? The fishnets are okay... but still."

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>The Cutie Mark Crusaders were laying on the ground and looking up at the sky with mild pink eyes. "Dude... that cloud... it looks... like a cloud." Scootaloo said.<p>

"Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooa." Applebloom and Sweetie Belle said, before Sweetie Belle had a certain five pointed leaf in her hoof before eating it.

"I can hear the grass growing." Sweetie Belle said.

"This snack is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 'Inhale' ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... Good." Applebloom said as she ate another five pointed leaf.

"Where did this come from again?" Scootaloo asked as she looked at the pile that was in the wagon.

"It was just. . . . . . growing." Applebloom said. "Hey that cloud looks just like an alicorn Twilight."

"Alicor Twilight... so cliche." Scootaloo said.

"Yeah... bunch of horse pie." Sweetie Belle said.

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><p>"Hey where's my pot?" Celestia asked as she was looking around for her plants. "That was suppose to be for the Royal Party."<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Spike was holding a magazine, and he was going inside of the bathroom. "What's today's mare for today?" He asked from inside the bathroom. "Oh here we go."<p>

Then sudden noises of, particular origin were being heard from inside the bathroom.

"Yes, yes, yes." He said with an excitement tone. "Comon, comon."

"Spike?" Fluttershy asked as she walked to the bathroom door. "Are you okay?"

"Flu-Fluttershy!?" He asked with a loud moan.

Fluttershy then opened the door and went inside and epped noises could be heard now. "Spike what are you doing!?"

"I'm sorry it just feels so good!" He yelled in pleasure.

"I can't believe you!" She yelled at him.

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><p>Spike and Fluttershy were eating toast with butter on them, and they were enjoying it. "You churn butter really good." She told him.<p>

"Lot's of practice." Spike said proudly as he patted a butter churn beside him.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Princess Celestia had a Cheeseburger in her magic, and she took a bite of it and her eyes widen. "Oh my 'ME'." She said in aw. "... This is delicious."<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>EW was riding in a shopping cart down a long hill and he was heading for Ponyville. "<strong>YEAH JAAAACKAAAASS!<strong>" He yelled with his voice echoing after him. Until a tiny pebble in the run way got hit by one of the shopping wheels and the shopping cart flipped and sent EW airborne.

Rose Luck was trimming her hedges, and was humming pleasantly until EW crashed in one of her rose bushes. "MY ROSES!" She yelled and looked at EW annoyingly. "You dick."

EW gave the thumbs up at the 4th wall and smiled with a tooth missing. "Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaah."

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Silly Rabbit. Tricks are for kids." Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle told Angel Bunny with giggling sounds.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>EW was reading a magazine of his favorite comic, Mare Do Well meeting the power ponies. "Awesome." He said with a smile.<p>

Then he was knocked down and was out cold, and Rainbow Dash standing over top of him holding an energy sword from Halo.

She was now squatting up and down over him with a smart-ass smirk on her face. "Take that beeyoch!" She said.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Applejack and Rainbow Dash were drinking cans of soda, after the last two cans were drank they tossed them aside they both looked at each other with competitive looks on their faces.<p>

"BURRRP"

"BURRRRRRP!"

"BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP"

**"BUUUUURRRP"**

**"BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRP"**

**"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP"**

'... FART.'

Both ponies were now blushing from the last sound. "Well... I think we should call it a day." Applejack suggested with a blush.

"Yeah same here." Rainbow Dash said also having a blush.

Pinkie Pie was behind a wall of haybales, and she was holding a whoopie cushion. "Works everytime." She whispered.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Mmmm what else?" EW asked as he was thinking of what else to type in on his computer.<p>

"What is it EW?" Havoc asked him.

"I'm working on another Robot Pony Episode, and I can't think of what to type in." EW said.

"Wait... your working on another story?" The Draconequus asked him as he flew up to his author's face. "What about your other story?"

"I'm still working on it, but I'm taking a break." EW told his OC character.

"Well it is your story side." Havoc said. "Ooo what about this one?" He suggested and whispered to his ear.

EW nodded and smiled before he started to type in the idea.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"Hey there stud." Twilight said as she laid on her bed looking at the 4th wall, she was wearing see through lingerie and held a phone on her magic. "Are you looking for a FRIEND to PLAY with?" She asked seductively.<p>

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><p>"OR are you looking for a punishment for being NAUGHTY?" Fluttershy asked as she wore a pair of green panties that showed off her flank and she was holding a paddle in mouth.<p>

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><p>"Then call 1-800- XXXPONY." Pinkamena Diane Pie said, her mane was deflated and she was dressed in a leather outfit. "Will make your Brony Fantasies come true. No matter what." She said as she held a riding crop.<p>

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><p>"Our FRIENDSHIP is ALWAYS welcomed to anypony who calls." Rarity said as she wore a fishnet body stocking, and she was on her bed hugging her pillow.<p>

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><p>"Let your most WILDEST animal out of you and will make sure it's HANDLED with care." Applejack said as she held a rope in her mouth and winked at the 4th wall.<p>

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><p>"Don't spend ANOTHER night alone." Rainbow Dash said laying on her bed and was wearing a red swimsuit. "Pick the phone now, for some LOVING friendship with us. That's '1-800- XXXPONY'."<p>

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><p>"Were the Element's of Harmony. And will make sure your friendship with us will ALWAYS be treasured FOREVER." Twilight said as she blew a kiss to the 4th wall.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>"You know I'm gonna have to change the rating of this fic now right?" EW asked Havoc.<p>

"Hey it might even get more views." Havoc said.

"I just hope this doesn't piss off the Mane 6." EW asked.

"On the contrary." Twilight said from behind them. They both turn around to see the Mane 6 in the outfits they had for the commercial. "Were about to show you both our OWN friendship right NOW."

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><p>EW, Havoc, and the Mane 6 were laying on EW's bed all cuddled up together.<p>

"Wow." EW said.

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><p><strong>That's right, I snuck myself into my own fanfic.<strong>


	3. Episode 3

_Episode 3_

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>EW went to his mail box and opened it, taking out a... Muffin?<p>

"Huh?" He asked looking at it and he heard a crunching sound, and he looked to see Derphy eating the letters that were meant for him. "Oh common I wanted to see the new issue of Playcolt Anthro Edition." He said with a grumpy tone.

"Muffins." Derphy said with a smile as her mouth was full.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Rainbow Dash was drinking six Redbulls at one time, and she was so hipper up now. Her wings flapped so hard that they couldn't be seen.<p>

"YEAH!" She yelled out before she exploded, with her main and tail falling onto the could with smoke coming from it.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>The Tardis appeared in the Whitetail woods, and when the doors opened up. Doctor Whooves and EW came out completely stoned.<p>

"Wow Doc, that Hemp Planet was awwwwwweeeesome." EW said with a smile, his clothes stank with maharajah.

"I'll say." Doctor Whooves said as he had a stoned smile on his face. "Why can't every world be peaceful like that one."

"Yeah the brownies there were good to. Maybe we should make some brownies. Oh My Celestia Doc, We should make some brownies right now."

"No need to theirs a big one right over there." Doctor Whooves said pointing to a big floating brownie with hot fudge on it.

The both swerved over to it, and they started to lick the fudge off of it.

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><p>Applebloom was sitting on a rock and looking at the sky until she felt two tongues licking her now, and she saw that EW and the Doctor were licking her.<p>

"Wh-What are you guys doin?" She asked with a blush. "St-Stop it. Please." She said with embarrassment.

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

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><p>Applejack was working on her farm, until she saw an 8-bit tree standing there. "What in tar-nation?" She asked looking at it.<p>

She walked up to the tree observing it's square form. "Well where are the apples?" She asked, until she noticed the apples up in it's limbs also square.

"Well if there apples may as well harvest them." She said readying her back hooves and she bucked the tree, and a square piece of it burst and a small square block landed on the ground and floated an inch from the ground and slowly spun around.

"What in the world?" She asked looking at the tree now it still stood there with no middle piece holding it at all. "What kind of tree is this?" She asked then she noticed a giant logo title floating up in the air saying 'MINECRAFT'

"HUH!?" Applejack yelled. "I... I'm just gonna call it a day." She said as she left.

* * *

><p>"I love Minecraft." EW said with a smile.<p>

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><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>Celestia was taking notes in her private study, before she noticed an antler and a horn at her window.<p>

She looked over and now saw a pair of yellow eyes looking at her, before a smile formed below it.

A lion paw then slowly formed with a fist shaking up in down in a 'Certain' sort of way. "Hey Tia wanna beat off?" Discord asked.

"No Discord." She said before going back to her notes.

"Oh alright." He said before he floated away.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was in a Security Room checking the cameras on a tablet. So far nothing out of the ordinary.<p>

But then he saw Princess Molestia at the door giving him a 'Rape Face' smile.

He quickly pressed the buttons to close both doors sealing him inside the office.

"That was close." He said before checking the cameras, only to find the the princess of the sun was now gone. "Huh?"

He saw a gold plated hoof on top of the tablet before it was lowered down showing Molestia's smile. "Gotcha." She whispered.

"Uh oh."

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>The Sugarcube Corner's kitchen was filled with a bunch of toasters, and Pinkie Pie was sitting in a chair.<p>

Once they all had toast come out of them, Pinkie looked at the Readers and said. "Toast House."

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>Twilight was walking through the hallway of EW's house until she passed the bathroom door, and she could hear music coming from inside.<p>

_"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was free like me?"_

Curious. Twilight used her magic to opened the door, and she saw EW singing in the shower.

_"Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don't you wish your girlfriend was free like me?" _He sang again.

Twilight covered her muzzle to keep herself from laughing. 'Sweet Celestia, this is funny.' She thought as she held in her giggles.

EW then popped his face out as he wore a shower cap. "Twilight get out." He told her.

She quickly did before he could her her giggling as she trotted away.

"Can't a guy take a shower in peace?" EW asked before he went back to singing.

"Nope." Queen Chrysalis answered as she held a lufa brush, and she was an anthro changeling.

"Chrysalis? Why are you in my shower?" EW asked her.

"It's shower time." She told her.

"Yeah for 'ME'." He said with empathizes on 'me'. "What's with the lufa?"

"Don't worry about it." She told him with a wink.

* * *

><p>It showed the bathroom door again.<p>

"AAAHHHHHH! You told me not to worry about it!" EW yelled.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"For the last time Applebloom, Humans arn't real." Applejack told her. "Now go to sleep."<p>

"A-Alright Applejack." She said as she went to sleep.

* * *

><p>"For the last time Lance, Ponies arn't real." EW told his cousin. "Now go to sleep."<p>

"A-Alright EW." Lance said as he went to sleep.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was riding a bike, and Twilight was riding in a front basket with him. "Their gaining on us." EW said as he peddled faster from the cops.<p>

"Were heading towards a cliff!" Twilight yelled.

"Quick use your magic to levitate us." He told her.

She closed her eyes and focused all her magic to lift them up.

Once they rode off the cliff they took into the air.

"Yeah we made it!" EW yelled.

"EW... I'm not using my magic." Twilight told him.

"Fuck." He said before they both fell to the ground.

* * *

><p>Twilight and EW were now at the hospital, with heavy painkiller liquid being injected into their bodies through IVs.<p>

"Well at least the charges were just a mistake." EW said as his legs were in casts, and so was his arms, torso, and neck.

"Yeah." Twilight said as she was in a full body cast, and her horn was in a cast as well, and her arms and legs were held in the air. "Blueblood will be locked up for a long time for smuggling Zebras into Applelossa as slaves."

"Time for your medicine." Nurse Redheart said as she brought in some pills and water.

"Dammit, I fucking hate taking medicine." EW mumbled to himself.

"I heard that." Redheart said. "But these pills aren't for you." She said before she grabbed a large syringe filled with pink liquid inside it. "'THIS' is for you." She said with a smile.

"No, no, no." EW begged as he tried to move.

"Don't worry. This won't hurt at all." She told him.

* * *

><p>Ponyville Hospital was seen, along with a painful scream echoing out of it.<p>

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW and Twilight were playing the Sorry Board Game.<p>

EW then rolled his turn of the dice ball and used his own pawn to knocked off Twilight's pawn. "Sorry." He told her with a cheeky-smart ass grin.

_Sorry_

_The Game that teaches you how to be a dick!_

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Where the hell is this guy?" A Pony customer asked. "I ordered that cake three hours ago."<p>

"Uh oh. Looks like you should have ordered from Hurry Up Cake." A narrator said.

"Hurry Up Cake'? Now that just sounds fast." The Customer said with a smile.

* * *

><p>"On Average customers spend about 50,000 hours of their lives waiting for their shrimp to arrive." EW explained. "And when I heard of this I thought 'Why don't these ponies just Hurry Up?' And that's what we did."<p>

* * *

><p>A Pegasus soared thought the skies and landed down to the ground before trotting quickly to a house and banging on the door hard. "Common, common!" He begged as he was moving around like his ass was covered in stinging ants.<p>

"No way this is the cake." The same customer from earlier said as he went to open the door, and was met by the Pegasus giving him his cake and flying away super fast. "Wow it is."

* * *

><p><em><span>Hurry Up Cake!<span>_

_Hurry Up Cake!_

_Hurry Up,_

_Hurry Up,_

_Hurry Up Cake!_

Not Responsible For Under Baked Cake.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was laying on a surgery table with a medical blanket on him, and it showed his stomach cut opened with his heart showing. Pinkie Pie was dressed as a doctor and she was poking his heart.<p>

"Should you really be poking it like that?" EW asked her.

"Who's the Doctor here?" Pinkie Pie asked him before blood started to squirt out of EW's heart.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Soooooooo. Your not a boy?" Pinkie asked Rainbow, and it made her eye twitch.<p>

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW and Rainbow were kicking the shit out of Sonic the Hedgehog as he laid on the ground dead.<p>

"Why are we kicking Sonic's ass, again?" EW asked Rainbow.

"Who cares." Rainbow said as she kicked the hedgehog some more.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was walking through the woods collecting pages of Nightmare Moon. "Why didn't I just wait until day time to do this?" He asked as he held his flashlight.<p>

His body froze, he had the sudden feeling that somepony was behind him. The moment he turned around he saw nothing. He calmed down a bit and went to turn back only to be met with a big soft plot, belonging to the mare of the night.

"I have you now." Nightmare Moon said with a smile.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"If Rarity wants EW so bad than she can have him!" Spike said as he placed a rope around his neck and he jumped off a chair he was in now suspending in the air. Only problem was, he wasn't choking at all. But he felt really funny in a certain area now. "If I knew this would take long I would have turned on the TV." He said before folding his arms.<p>

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was slowly walking up and he found himself in a really dark room. His eye tried to focus on where he was but it was really dark.<p>

He then noticed that the walls were covered with certain objects. As he focused in he nearly gagged for he saw the skins of ponies covering the walls. "What the hell?" He asked but his voiced was muffled and he saw that he was wearing an air-intake mask on his face but it had two plastic hoses on it.

"Look whos awake." A voice said and he shivered from the sound of it. He felt two glove covered hoofs on his face and a smiling Pinkamena looking down on him from upside down. "So you like root beer huh?"

"I didn't tell you that I like Root beer." He said.

"Well have all the Rootbeer in the world." She said as she twisted a valve to a large barrel tank. The fizzy soda traveled through the hoses and straight to the mask on EW's face.

He had no choice but to drink now or die. He took gulp after gulp of the soda but it still kept on coming. He was now having trouble breathing and his stomach was getting full of the drink he was drinking.

Pinkamena twisted the valve back and the flow of rootbeer stopped. She took the mask off of EW's face and he started coughing from some of the drink getting into his lungs. "Pinkie what the hell?"

"Oh that was just part one of torching you." She said before she went to a sink and it had some water in it. "Here's part two." She said and twisted the handle of the sink and a drop of water dripped out and fell into the water creating a dripping sound.

Time felt like it had stopped for EW when he heard it and it gave him a bad vibe in his body. "No Pinkie No please." He begged.

Pinkie just stood there with the same smile on her face as the dripping kept going.

His body felt like it was getting tighter now, and his bladder was swelling up from the soda he drank. "Stop it." He said but still no answer.

His eyes started to water up and he tried to twist his legs together but the straps holding his legs apart kept him from it.

_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

"Please stop it." He begged. "I'm gonna piss myself!" He yelled.

"That's the point." She said with a smile.

His body was feeling sore and his bladder was begging to let him pee now. "Pinkie I can't hold it in any longer!" He screamed before he couldn't hold it in anymore. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed before all of ponyville was filled with fresh urine.

* * *

><p>500,000 Years in the future.<p>

"As you see here, you can see the yellow oceans." A Pony tourguide said. "The origin of this liquid is still unknown but it's said to hold a lost city under it's golden glory."

"Yeah right and were the Element's of harmony." A pony tourist whispered to another before they laughed as they went to the next tour.

On a floating neon sign next to the ocean, it read 'Sunshine Oceans' on it

_Sunshine Oceans_

_Warning: Do not drink._


	4. Episode 4

_Episode 4_

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was skiing across the snow until he hit the slope sending him airborne.<p>

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He slammed into a tree, and slid down.

* * *

><p>[GAME OVER]<p>

"Man this game cheats." EW said holding a gameboy, as he skied down a snowy hill and hit the slope sending him airborne

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He slamed into the tree, and slid down.

"Kids this is why you never take your eyes off where yer goin." Applejack told the CMCs.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Okay Spike you got the camera ready?" EW asked Spike, as he held a garden hose.<p>

"Yeah." Spike said with a giggle as he held a video camera.

* * *

><p>Twilight was reading a book until EW and Spike burst through the door and EW unleashed a stream of water on her.<p>

"AH! AHHHHH! *Gurgle* E-AHHH! STOP IT!" Twilight yelled as she was sent into the ground blocking the water stream with her hooves. "WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING!" She yelled through gurgles.

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm bonding with Spike." EW said as he and Spike laughed.

Twilight struggled to get up and get away heading outside the door of her room trying not to slip and fall. Until she got hit with the blast of H2O again and pushed her to the wall and she was sent rolling down the Stairs.

EW and Spike kept laughing as EW held the water hose. "Oh theirs nothing more precious than a child's laughter." EW said with a smile.

* * *

><p>Twilight was getting groceries from her carriage until EW shoved her inside and closed it tight. Him and Spike got in and they rode off on the road.<p>

EW and Spike were laughing their asses off as they rode on the road, and leaving Ponyville.

They drove close to a lake with a sign that said no swimming, and they got out and pushed they carriage into the water and it sank like a rock.

EW and Spike kept laughing as they watched what they did and laughed so hard that they were losing their footing. EW wiped a tear from his eye as they walked off to the side of the road and held their thumbs out hoping to catch a ride.

* * *

><p>They were now at a dinner, having some lunch as they kept laughing from what they did.<p>

* * *

><p>The Human and Baby Dragon were now back at the Ponyville Library sitting on the couch, still laughing but they started to calm down from it<p>

Then they did short outbursts of laughing until they took a breath with a smile on their faces.

"Boy I hope Twilight can get out." Spike said.

"I'm sure she'll be okay she's a friend after all." EW told Spike.

Two seconds after he said that the front doors burst open showing a pissed off white unicorn with a fire mane and tail.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW held a fan with razor blades glued to it as he was in the bathroom with a towel on. "With these razors glued to this house hold fan, I'll save time and money." He said wit ha smile as he turned it on and slowly brought it to his face.<p>

* * *

><p>It showed the outside of Twilight's house and EW screaming as blood spitted across the window. "Twilight! I've done it again!" He sang out<p>

**THAT'S ALL FOLKS!**

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Alright darling let me show you the line of outfits I have made." Rarity said as she showed EW the dresses prepared. "First I have the while and aquaberry dress for the Grad Galloping Gala, the next is a exotic piece for the Canterlot fashion show, and the wedding dress is just a wedding dress." She said as she turned back to EW, who now had bloodshot eyes and his hair was messed up.<p>

"I AM SO F***KING READY!" He yelled out as he jumped super high crashing through the roof.

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>"Is Mayonnaise an instrument?" Snails asked.<p>

"No Snails Mayonnaise is not an instrument." Cheerilee said as she wrote music notes on the chalkboard. Snails raised his hoof up again. "Horse Radish is not an instrument ether." He lowered his hoof.

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>Snails now had a job at Sugarcube Corner, and he stood by at the counter until the phone rang. And he used his magic to answer it.<p>

"Is this Sugarcube Corner?" The caller asked.

"No, this is Snails." The orange unicorn said before hanging up, and the phone rang again and he answered it again.

"Is this Sugarcube Corner?" Another caller asked.

"No, this is Snails." He said before he hung up the phone again, and it rang and he got it for the third time.

"Is this Sugarcube Corner?" A third caller asked.

"NO! THIS IS SNAILS!" He yelled as he slammed the phone off, and folded his hoofs. "I am not a Sugarcube Corner."

"Uh, Snails, that's the name of the bakery." Pinkie Pie said to him

Snails now remembered the name and got aggravated. "Oh, Horseshoes!"

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>"When I grow up, I wanna to go to the moon." Woona said.<p>

"Why wait?" Trollestia asked as she bucked her little sister to the moon.

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>"Don't worry Applejack I'll make sure Applebloom get in bed by Eight." EW said with a smile.<p>

"I'm holding you to that." Applejack said, as she wore her Gala dress and took her apple cart with her as she left.

EW waved good bye and went to the couch and sat down before getting a Power Pony comic and started to read it. But then the phone began to ring and he picked it up and answer it. "Hello?"

"Did you check the children?" The unknown assailant asked.

"Umm... No?" EW answered.

"Well then you suck at babysitting." The caller then hung up.

EW slammed the phone down as he hung up. "I'm not a bad baby sitter." He said as the window behind him showed a makeshift rope lowering down and a repealing Applebloom coming down from it.

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>Gummy the Alligator was standing on top of the Sugarcube Corner bakery and he had a note on his little hand.<p>

_Goodbye Cruel World_

_-Gummy the Aligator_

He jumped off the roof and felt the wind against his scales and soft belly, but before he hit the ground a large fluffy pillow cushioned his fall and he looked to see Pinkie with her cheerful smile. "Careful Gummy you almost got hurt." She said before she hopped away.

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>Princess Celestia was looking at her notes, until a dark figure from the distance was looking at her seeing her flank. As soon as she went for a scroll the figure leaped out and sprinted after her, and it was EW. As he ran at her and he leaped up with his hand up high and sending it crashing down on the very sun her flank held.<p>

* * *

><p>It showed the Castle along with the sound of a massive slap, and a screaming Princess Celestia. <strong>"SWEET LAUREN!"<strong>

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>EW was laying on the ground with a bunch of fillies and colts hugging him. "SO MUCH CUTENESS!" He yelled. "WHY HASBRO!? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY!?"<p>

* * *

><p>Channel Change<p>

* * *

><p>"Hey Rainbow Dash I found an elastic band." EW said holding a rubber band of elastic.<p>

"Yeah that's nice." The cyan Pegasus said as she laid on her soft cloud with her flank showing.

"And this is what I can do with it." He stretched the the band to it's length and aimed it right at her plot, and released it before it zipped right at her flank and hit it dead on creating a snapping sound.

**SNAP!**

"YEOOOOOOOOW!" Rainbow's eyes were shut tight as she held her flank, along with the small red mark from where the band hit her. "Your Dead!" She yelled as she flew after EW, who was now running for his life.

* * *

><p>Twilight was reading a book, then from out her door. EW peeked from the side of it. And had another rubber band and aimed it at her purple flank.<p>

**SNAP!**

"AHHHH!" Twilight jumped and was now on the ceiling.

* * *

><p>Applejack was busy bucking apples, and taking them to her cart. EW showed his face from the leaves of on of the farmpony's apple trees before he aimed another rubber band at her orange flank.<p>

**SNAP!**

"Sweet Nelly!" She yelled before she bucked the apple cat and the apples were sent skyward and right inside the apple barn and with an apple sauce covered Big Mac coming out.

"Oops." EW whispered as he slowly went back into the tree.

* * *

><p>Rarity was busy cleaning her house, and washing the clothes she made after the CMC's fiasco. EW popped his face from out the opened window, and brought out yet another rubber band, and aimed it at the mare's snow white flank.<p>

**SNAP!**

"Oh!" Rarity eye's were wide and she had a blush on her face. "Mmmmmm." She hummed with a smile.

EW blushed as well and slowly walked away, he guess he now knows why Rarity always get's punished by Celestia's special paddle.

* * *

><p>Fluttershy was feeding her animals and making sure they were eating.<p>

EW popped his head from out the trapdoor Fluttershy didn't know about and aimed another stetchy bad at her butter yellow flank

**SNAP!**

"Oh... my." She said with a pink blush, as she looked at her flank showing a little pink mark from where the rubber band hit her, and she noticed EW from the trap door. "Um... could you do that again?" She asked.

* * *

><p>Pinkie Pie was making cupcakes and was enjoying the time she was doing. EW appeared from the bottom cabinets and aimed a band at the pink mare's pink flank.<p>

**SNAP!**

"Whao!" Pinkie hopped from the floor and into the air, and stopped. "Hey why didn't my Pinkie sense go off?" She asked as she looked at herself. "EW are you here?"

"Uh... no?" EW said as he tried to hide.

"Yeah you are. Since my Pinkie sense doesn't recognize you as a threat." Pinkie said as she opened the cabinet. "Take me." She said with a sly smile as she dragged the human out.

"Oh boy."

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"The Horror!" Lily yelled before she fainted with a red mark on her flank.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"OW! You hit me with a rubber Band!? Now I will put you in the sand!" Zecora said.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"What the!?" Spitfire asked before she crashed into a cloud.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"Yeow! Who dares harm the Great and Powerful Trixie!?"

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"Oh! ... that hit one of my milk makers." Milky Way said.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"HEY!" Queen Chrysalis yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP! SNAP!<strong>

"OH-" Aloe started.

"MY!" Lotus finished.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"Muffins!" Derpy yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"Great Wubs!" DJ Pon3 yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"What the!?" Cheeralie asked. "Whoever did that is so getting detention."

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"WHO DARES!?" Princess Luna yelled in the Royal Canterlot voice.

* * *

><p><strong>SNAP!<strong>

"Goodness." Princess Celestia said as she blushed. "Damn my sexually repressed life." She whispered.

* * *

><p>The next several hours were of EW shooting rubber bands at mare's flanks, and he was loving the time he was doing it. But as he went inside his home, the lights turned on and it showed all the mares with rubber bands aimed right at him.<p>

"Uh, oh." He said before the lights went out.

**SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!**** SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ****SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!**** SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! ****SNAP!****SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!**** SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP! **

"... Owie." He silently cried in pain.

* * *

><p><strong>Till Next Time.<strong>


	5. Episode 5

Episode 5

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Going once! ... Going twice!... Sold to EW." Filthy Rich said as he banged his gavel on the table.<p>

"Awesome." EW said with a smile as he went up to the stage. "... What did I buy?"

"The custody of my Daughter, Diamond Tiara." Filthy Rich said as he gave his daughter to EW.

"Daddy!" Diamond Tiara called out as she was being carried away.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW was now holding an awesome and epic sword, that glowed with extreme power. "I HAVE THE POWER-"<p>

"HEY SHUT UP PONIES LIKE US NEED TO SLEEP!" Rose yelled out to him.

"Sorry!" EW said. Before he quiet down. "I have the power." He whispered.

"WHAT?!"

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>Princess Luna once found a spinning chair.<p>

She sat in it and spun, she dared.

Watching the world go around, and around a bunch.

Until her stomach had enough, and she lost her lunch.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Princess Luna, your my favorite princess!" Pipsqueak said with a smile.<p>

"Oh happy day." Luna said in delight.

Pipsqueak then walked behind a bush where Button Mash and Feather Weight stood. "Pay up guys."

They both sighed, and ponied up a 100 bits each to the Pirate Pony of Nightmare Night.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>Nurse Red heart was tending to the elderly of the retirement home until she felt her tail being lifted up by a cane.<p>

"Sir what are you doing?" She asked the elderly pony who sat in a wheelchair, and looking at her flank.

"Oh just looking for my pills." He quickly said. "Nope not here." He said as he put his cane down and grinned.

Nurse Red sighed, and rolled her eyes before she left, and a bottle of pills rolled out from under a table.

"Oh there they are." The elderly pony said as he used his magic to grab them and roll off.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"EW I don't think this is a good idea." Spike said as him and EW were in the Sugarcube Corner Bakery after hours.<p>

"Oh don't worry Spike, these baked goods won't be missed." EW said with a smile. "Nothing could possibly go-"

* * *

><p><strong>Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock [ <strong>**10 Seconds Later... ] Tick, Cock, Tick, Tock**

"Whaaaaaa!" EW cried as he was bent over Cupcake's lap, and she was spanking him with her hoof.

"Normally Cupcake has nothing against baked goods being eaten after they go cold." Pinkie Pie told the 4th wall. "She just loves spankings." She said with a grin.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW hung from a net, inside a Diamond Dog cave, and he was surrounded by thousands of Diamond dogs.<p>

"Okay, okay... How many Dimwitted Diamond Dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?" EW asked with a smile.

'Silence...'

"Three." EW said with a smile. "One Dimwitted Diamond Dog to screw in the light bulb, and two Dimwitted Diamond Dogs to sniff at each other's butts." EW finished with a laugh.

They aimed their weapons at him.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Hey wheres the Booze?!" Berry Punch asked in drunken rage.<p>

"Sorry Berry... theirs no more booze." The bartender said, and the drunk pony gasped. "But we still have many other drinks."

"This... This can't be happening." She said as a super scary clown pony hugged.

"Oh it is happening." He said before laughing and his head exploded with confetti.

* * *

><p>"Ahhhhhhh!" Berry said as she woke up from her bed that smell of vodka, rum, cider, and wine. "Oh man... just a dream." She said as she got a bottle of wine from under her pillow and opened it. "No one will take you away from me." She said as she drank it, but spat it out from the taste, and she looked to find rainbow hair. "What the?" She asked as she looked inside the bottle to find Rainbow Dash in her own bed.<p>

"Giant eye!" Rainbow yelled before she was caught by Fluttershy.

"Less talk more kissing my flank!" Fluttershy yelled in a commanding tone before her flank popped and butterflies flew out.

* * *

><p>"Ahhhhhhhh!" Rainbow Dash yelled, as she woke up from her bed and she sighed. "Oh just a dream."<p>

"Think again!" The scary clown said beside her.

* * *

><p>"Ahhhhhhhh!" Fluttershy yelled as she woke up from her bed. and sighed. "Oh it was just a-"<p>

"Spank attack!" Pinkamena yelled as she tacked Fluttershy and spanked her flank like crazy.

* * *

><p>"Ahhhhhhh!" Rose yelled as she woke up from her bed. "Celestia... that was crazy." She said, before she heard something from the window and she groaned as she got out from her bed, and saw EW with a sword.<p>

"I HAVE THE POWER-"

"HEY SHUT UP PONIES LIKE US NEED TO SLEEP!" Rose yelled out to him, before she shut her window and went back to bed.

"Sis... I need to use the bathroom." Lily said as she was tied to the bed in level 100 restrains.

"Don't worry Lily we put a diaper on you, after we drugged you." Rose said as she got back into bed.

"WHAT?!" She yelled, and was about to protest but then Rose grabbed a cloth and placed it on Lily's muzzle, and her eyes rolled back and her eyes slowly closed.

"Shhhhh, shhhh. It's okay... I'll be right here." Rose said, before she took the cloth off her, and she looked at it for a few seconds before she took a good sniff of it, before she passed out in her bed with a smile.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>Applebloom and Scootaloo were ridding a train to somewhere, and Scootaloo was unwrapping a candybar.<p>

"Hey Applebloom, wanna split a Mounds Bar?" Scootaloo asked as she held the candy.

"What?" Applebloom asked her with a risen brow. "Who eats a Mounds Bar?"

"I do." Scootaloo said.

"You know in all my foalhood, I have never once seen a pony eating a Mounds Bar." Applebloom said.

"Well your about to see one now." Scootaloo said as she was about to take a bite, before Applebloom asked again.

"So you go to a store, and out of all the hundreds of candy bars ever made. You pick a Mounds Bar?" Applebloom asked.

"Yup." Scootaloo said with a nod.

"So what is it you like? The chocolate or the coconut?" Applebloom asked.

"A bit of both." Scootaloo said.

"And how long have you been having them?" Applebloom said.

"I've been having a Mounds Bar, two to three times a day. Everyday for the last three years." Scootaloo said.

"Sweet Celestia! No wonder you can't fly!" Applebloom said in shock. "You getting renal shutdown. Your kidneys are drowning in a goop of chocolate and coconut! Give me that!" Applebloom said as she took the Mounds Bar out of Scootaloo's grasp, and opened the train window, and threw it out the window and closed it.

Everything was quiet until Scootaloo had her hooves together and a cracking noise of plastic was heard.

"Seriously?" Applebloom asked her.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW smiled as held a bag of gems. "If Spike can eat these... then why can't I?" EW asked as he took one out and was about to take a bite of it.<p>

* * *

><p>"Mr EW, the gem you tried to eat cause internal bleeding, and broke several of your teeth." Dr Stable said as he had a notepad on his magic.<p>

"Ugh." EW groaned as he laid in a bed with a jaw support on him, and he had to eat food through a mechanical straw.

"Armature." Spike said as he ate a gem.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"My name is Para, and I'm from the remake fic." A girl wearing an A girl with pink hair said with a smirk, and had Rinnegan eyes, and wore an Akaski robe from Naruto. "And if you write something bad about me... I'll break your spine." She said with a smile.<p>

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>The Cutie Mark Crusaders, were on top of a dungeon tower, and they found a window where they saw EW inside a giant bird cage, and with a TV of educational shows on. With King Sombra holding him prisoner.<p>

"King Sombra has EW trapped." Scootaloo said.

"He's using educational shows to drain him." Sweetie Bell said, before King Sombra walked over to EW.

"Now you will tell me why EW Peanut Butter tastes so great." King Sombra said as he held a jar of peanut butter, labled EW Peanut Butter on it.

"Never!" EW said with a groan of pain, as King Sombra took a cracker and dipped it into the peanut butter.

"So freshly roasted, so creamy, so yummy. And it's secret will be mine, all MINE!" King Sombra called out, before Applebloom dropped a brick onto the TV and destroying it.

"What the?" King Sombra asked, before he saw EW opening the cage and grinning at him. King Sombra tried to run but he was grabbed by EW, and lifted up. "Curses!"

* * *

><p>King Sombra was now locked in his own dungeon, and had his head out the bared window. "Just wait, EW. I'll find out!" He yelled out as EW and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were at a table enjoying the peanut spread.<p>

_**EW Peanut Butter**_

_**THE ONLY POWER IS IT'S GREAT TASTE.**_

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"Hi ho, Silver. AWAY!" Diamond Tiara yelled out and she sat on top of Silver Spoon.<p>

"Why?!" Silver Spoon yelled out.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"It has been several weeks since the royal guard have been drafted to the Las Pegasus Casino." A news pony said, as another pony was now beside her. "Miss how do you feel, knowing that their is no Royal Guards in ponyville?"<p>

"Theirs no Royal Guards?!" The Pony asked. "Sweet Celestia! Were Finally safe!" She yelled as she took her hoof and put it behind her head, and a zipper came from behind her head, and she was actually a zebra.

Then more, and more ponies did the same thing. Showing that they were zebras as well.

_Freedom, you see, has got our hearts singing so joyfully_

_Just look about_

_You owe it to yourself to check it out_

_Can't you feel a brand new day?_

_Can't you feel a brand new day?_

_Can't you feel a brand new day?_

_Can't you feel a brand new day?_

They all sang.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>EW finished his 100th mug of apple cider and placed it on the table. "Why cant you admit that your gonna lose?" EW asked Applejack who also drank her 100th mud of apple cider, in a drunken state.<p>

"Why can't you admit that your a dirty hairless monkey?" Applejack asked him as she was drunk as well.

"Oh, because of my hands, and my body structure. Even the fact that I only have hair on my head, BIG woop. Let me tell you something. If I wasn't such a nice person, I would be calling you a candy colored horse all the time, and even bragging on about how you have magical but tattoos as well. It's not nice to disrespect." EW said.

"Whaaaa... ?" Applejack asked before they both fell over.

* * *

><p>"Ugh... my head." EW said as he held his head, but felt something cuddling up against him. "Oh Celestia." He said as he saw Applejack.<p>

"Shut up, and go back to sleep." Applejack said, as she slept.

* * *

><p><span>Channel Change<span>

* * *

><p>"What else... what else... what else?" EW asked as he paced back and forth.<p>

"What is it boss?" Havoc asked him.

"I'm trying to think of something else, but so far noting." EW said.

"Well you haven't done anything since that one time." Havoc said.

"Don't be a wise ass, and I told you to never mention that one time again." EW said pointing to the Draconequus.

"But it was so funny." Havoc said.

"No." EW said.

"But-"

"N-O. NO!" EW said.

"Alright, alright." Havoc said with a sigh.

* * *

><p><strong>Till the next episode.<strong>

"EW got hit in the nuts with a peanut butter jar by his cousin." Havoc said with a snort.

"HAVOC!" EW shouted out.

"Uh, oh." Havoc said as he ran for his life.


End file.
